


Belief

by yelenation



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, F/F, Marley Arc (Shingeki no Kyojin), mention someone's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29130801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yelenation/pseuds/yelenation
Summary: we're just set our foot in paladis after the war in marley. you can't forget what was happened today, from how many innocents died in your hands until witnessed your friend’s death. yelena for some reason came to you which makes you confused because you've never talk to her before.
Relationships: Yelena (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Kudos: 23





	Belief

"shit.. i don't want to do this anymore" you said to yourself in the mirror. you're inside the girl's toilet in the base. we are already arrived in paladis after the war in marley. you didn't make a contact with anyone but mikasa. you and mikasa are inside the toilet right now, crying silently. just few hours ago three of you were planning to eat all the food that niccolo served for today. sadly, that plan won't happen. 

you turn on the tap and wet your face.

"mikasa. don't you think this war kinda useless? who are the enemy, i can't see it. why is zeke with us? and those kids.. i saw them before they did that. they are crying, their friends are dying in front of them.. that's what i heard." you said, turning your head to mikasa's direction, she is at the corner looking all mess. she is covering her face on her knee, looks calm but her sobs sound so clear.

you sighed. "the one who shot sasha, the girl.. she-" you paused. you can sense that mikasa raises her head to look at you from behind. "she shouted at me, telling me to stop when i killed many people around her. i don't even notice she has been there. floch told me to kill every person who interfere the plan so i did. but how come we ended up killed many innocents" you explained. you were so silent back in the air ship. you've been overthink about this all this time.

"(y/n)-"

"im not blaming the kids. i blame myself for being a careless brat" you cut off. mikasa stood up and patted your back. "none of this is your fault, (y/n). you did what you're told."

you chuckled a little and hang your arm on her shoulder "let's swap the sadness away. sasha would laughing at us if she saw us like this" you exclaimed. mikasa respond your sudden act with a smile and nodded. 

* * *

it's almost morning and the atmosphere is getting colder. everyone is already inside their own room but here you are. you're at the rooftop, admiring the beautiful dark sky. you're worrying about mikasa because sasha is her roomate, she must feel lonely. you're not crying or feeling sad right now, you're more like.. confused. 

after received eren's letter and everything almost went well by the plan, you realize something. something that you never think about before. 

before this, all you do is killing titans and doesn't feel bad. instead, you feel like a hero. you did what you should've done. 

but this, you have to kill people who had no idea about what to come, they must not expecting this before. both sides are misunderstood about something, but you're not sure about it.

"having a bad day huh?" a familiar sound came. you turned your head to see who is it.

yelena.

"shut up" you said. yelena come up to you to sit on the empty side besides you. actually, you never talk to yelena side by side before. both of you only have chance to talk whenever there's an importance or meeting.

"she is your friend right?" 

you swear you want to kick yelena out if she came just to chitchat like this.

knowing you won't answer her, she clicked. "it's a pity that someone as nice as her gone too early. even i haven't talk to her that much but i know her personality." 

you are staring at her for a second. just to see if this person lied or not because for some reasons you couldn't believe her. you look at the sky, again. processing what yelena said. both you were silence for almost 10 minutes. no one dared to talk.

"my grandmother once said this places are like a vase and humans are the flower." you finally open your mouth. you can see from the corner of your eye that yelena is facing you right now. "just like what would we do, god also took the best flower among the other flowers." you paused, crack a pure smile that could melt other people's heart. "i was laughing at that at the first time i hear it. i guess she wasn't wrong" you continued. you're still not take your eyes off the sky. you think it would be awkward if both of you looking at each other.

"so you believe in god?" yelena asked. you shook your head in response. "not really. i just respect what my family believes."

she nodded. finally her gaze were off. she stare at her hands for quite a long time which makes you curious. you look at her side to see what's up with her. "do you see this?" she asked, showing her palm to you. you were taken a back by her sudden act, but immediately leaning over her to see what is on her palm. it's a scar. judging for how it looks, it must be new.

"what is this?" you asked, your gaze focused on the scar. it looks so deep that it probably hurt so bad. "a promises." she answered while pulling her palm back so you would focus on her only.

"i was into something like this before. i did this and promise to myself to do something. complete this mission is also one of the promises i made. which i already accomplish"

"but why?" you stare at her, disbelief. "doesn't it hurt?"

yelena laughed. "ofcourse it hurts. that is the main reason why i did this to see how serious i am" 

you shook your head. "just stop doing that" you said as you begin to see yelena smirking. 

"are you worried about me?" she asked playfully.

"you wish" you answered, glanced over to her opponent's side to ignore her. you can't help but feel so embarrassed. something about yelena attracted you. you glared at yelena silently. good things she is not looking at you right now. she is busy with her foot, probably feels awkward or just don't know what to do. ' _is she planned to stay here any longer?_ ' you asked yourself.

"you know-"

"do you know-"

both of you stared at each other awkwardly. you accidentally start the conversation at the same time as her. "you talk" you told and see at the view in front of you.

"you know why am i here right?" she asked bluntly. you nodded your head. of course you know. everyone knows. "you're here for zeke. im not sure are you really on our side or just here because of zeke." you said before turning your head towards her. "right now i am in the position where i don't even know which side is right and who should i support. so please stop talking about this. it makes me jealous of you because you already have upright thinking. i just like how you set your mindset."

"why?" she asked, lifting one her eyebrows.

you shrugged. "i don't know either"

she muttered something. maybe she didn't want you to hear but it's so quiet here you can hear it clearly. she said you're a weird kid. you're forcing yourself to not laugh. it reminds you of sasha who always jokingly called you like that. weird, pervert etc. it makes you miss her even more. 

you saw the sun about to rise. so is yelena. both of you stand up before someone came. you gave her a slight smile before leaving. "thankyou for um .. talking to me. sorry for being rude at first because-"

"it's fine. it's not the first time. go, hange would lost her mind if she lost you."

"goodbye" you waved at her awkwardly. you just talk to her in less than an hour but acting like you're her close friend. you close the rooftop door, leaving yelena who's still there, busy doing her shoelace.

_'i must be crazy but i want to meet her often and do like what we just did today'_

you thought before slap both of your cheeks and make them redden. you shook your head to abolish that weird thought of yours and went down stairs.

**Author's Note:**

> a slight idea came so i write it as soon as possible before i forget it lmao hope u enjoy ;))


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